Not sure if anyone else has already suggested this, but how about an actual peace server? Something like, unlimited barbarian attacks, and PVP is either optional, or disabled? (Would require removing the spy, attack, and probably the tribe quest) Right now PVP is forced even on the supposed "peace" servers, and generally the standard for EB games is that PVP is entirely optional anyway.
Optional PVP: "Soft" option, since so many people in this game seem to really want this to be a war game even though it was advertised as EB. Those who opt out are still vulnerable to being f*cked over by aggro/coiners, but they have the recourse of barbarian farming and can actually rebuild. Deletion of relevant quests means they're not forced to risk starting a war just to progress in the game.
Disabled PVP: Ideal. Barbarian attacks only. People might actually stay in the game on a server like that. Even with the peace server rules aggros find a way to drive off everyone else. Spoken as someone who had to abandon the game altogether for about 6mo because I literally could not leave it for 10 unplanned minutes without risking losing all my troops and most of my resources to an attack from someone who had no business attacking someone with that kind of score differential. That happened several times! I'm only back now because the Christmas truce is actually giving me a fair shot at rebuilding.
Appreciate any counters or additions to these ideas.